If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
