This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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