is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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