swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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