oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
