just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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