im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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