This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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