I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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