Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
this will be a night to untag.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize