i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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