Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
