I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
