I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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