hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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