I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize