i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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