how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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