i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
