you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
