She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
