i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
