So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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