Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
