It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
