Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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