you win again, gameday.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
