WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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