..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
