woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
