Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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