the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
