Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
