Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
