I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I want to be your penis for a week.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
