super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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