hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
