this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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