hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
