Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Blood and glitter go together right?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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