So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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