All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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