I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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