I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
