There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
