Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize