THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
