meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize