He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
