I'm going to jail i love you
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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