i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
