Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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