I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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