Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
