win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
