You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
