I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
