he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
