I want to have your abortion
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Found the puke drawer
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
