im six kinds of drunk right now
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize